Celibate

I am an incel and I'm not bitter. I don't think many are truly bitter, it's just the internet has become a venue for those to share their similar life experiences. Reading others struggles at finding a partner gives as much validation as being with another person. "I'm not a fuck up, if it's a society trends towards 1/6th of men remaining celibate for their lives". Would physical intimacy help? I think for most of us it would, and we see whatever alternative form we can get online.
I'm going to turn 28, no partners, turned down opportunities, I'm going full steam ahead. Is there any fault of my own? Certainly. I enjoy being in control of the situation I am in, and not having my mood swings being dependent on another. Do I really need to see a person's face telling me how bad at sex I am? Do I need that reinforcement? No.
I will do what I can to live a happy life. I know it can be better, and I'm open to whatever I come across, but it doesn't impinge on me like others. Yes, it's unfortunate to be born as a minority in the US where the respective female gender will twice as likely end up in an interracial marriage than not.
People are missing out with a relationship with me. They can have their fling, get divorced, and become single parents like every single one of my coworkers. I do what I have to do.

====(Laundro) Matt from UCSD

"I've given up on even attempting relationships because trying to get a girlfriend is just going to deteriorate my own mental health. Throughout all of high school, even though there were several girls interested in me here and there, my love life was basically like one series of unfortunate events that prevented me from ever getting anywhere. Going to university, I actually felt pretty confident that I would be able to meet girls pretty easily because I'd usually fit in fine in a new environment, I figured I was likeable enough, etc.

This entire school year so far I've met four girls, only two of whom I still would consider friends. I asked out a friend of mine in fall quarter, and she said no. That's all that's happened to me so far. I feel like I'm getting more cagey and cynical by the day because of a growing conviction that no one (especially romantic partners) will ever really understand me.

So even though I know that it seems like an objectively ass-backwards decision, I just don't want to even bother trying to make relationships happen. I feel like I would have to go through several rejections before even getting one girl to like me, and even then (as past events have shown) I tend to just get fucked over down the line by some other circumstance (too long to fully elaborate here). And I'm definitely not going to try dating apps, because I think that whole system is fucked up on a deeply fundamental level. Plus, I get really pissed off at people who try to do something to solve my problem because it's my problem, not yours, and trying to matchmake me feels like a violation of privacy.

Obviously I wish it didn't have to be like this, and if I was a more optimistic person I'd probably still be out there giving it a shot. But as I stand now I feel like even the effort of trying is just going to be pointless. If girls aren't interested in me then I see no reason why I should disrespect them by wasting their time. "

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Laundromatt-Today at 12:15 AM

Yeah my confession pretty much describes my whole mindset

It's just not worth the trouble

Like, when I'm going along on library walk, the last thing I want is for someone to rope me into signing a petition or something

So it's basically the same thing, if girls don't want to interact with me then why would I try to waste their time with my shitty marketing scheme

Martin-Today at 12:17 AM

just don't, i don't see what is the big issue

be friends with who you are comfortable with

i've been this way all my life and never really bothered looking for a romantic partner and i don't really see any issues

don't stress yourself over relationships they're definitely not necessary

Laundromatt-Today at 12:17 AM

Yeah except I'm hella lonely

lol

Pazifist (Aaron)-Today at 12:18 AM

how else do you have t h e s e x

Martin-Today at 12:18 AM

i honestly wish we (the community in the discord) got together more often as just a friend group in general

i'm pretty lonely too, spend like majority of the day working by myself

so like hanging out with friends casually in specific occasions feels nice